Impeccable Timing

If you are a parent, you probably know that kids have impeccable timing. Like, the NEED something the moment you step into the bathroom or they come down with the stomach bug the weekend you have something major planned.

Today was a prime example in my house.

After trying to switch cell phone rate plans online (without the system working properly), I finally decided I’d chat with a  representative (online, thankfully) to try to get the problem resolved. I know this was a risky thing to do because the kids weren’t sleeping, but they were in the other room playing and I thought maybe I’d be able to get the problem fixed without much interruption. Wrong. About midway through the chat, they are both running into the room and Ella is yelling at me (which is only one of the reasons I’m thankful the chat took place online and not on the phone). She’s yelling because Troy has poop on his hand. And, then she sneezes and has snot all over her face. Two kids needing my attention right in the middle of me trying to fix our cell phone plan.

Despite that kind of timing, it also seems that they have impeccable timing in other ways too. Like Ella knows just when to tell me she loves me or Troy knows just how to smile at me to melt my heart. I love them so much, and I hope that I don’t get caught up in the little frustrations of the moment – because they are just that: little. And they really mean nothing in the scheme of things.

Encouraging Independence

For a while now Ella has been wanting to do everything by herself. This transition is kind of a strange for me – going from having to do everything for my tiny baby to allowing my toddler to do things by herself. Sometimes these changes are liberating to me as a mother: it is helpful at times that Ella can put her shoes on by herself or that she can pick up her toys or that she can buckle one of the buckles on her car seat. Sometimes, however, I struggle with allowing her to do these things herself. If we are in a hurry or running late (which seems to happen all too often), it usually is much faster for me to do those things for her, which is only discouraging to her. At times she can get quite upset when I “take over” her responsibilities. And, really, I do understand her desire to want to do these things by herself.

Sure, there are going to be times that I need to do these tasks for her for whatever reason. And she needs to understand that’s not a reason to throw a fit. BUT, I need to understand that I need to encourage her and help her to learn to do all these different things. I need to exhibit patience with her because she is only 2 (well, almost 3), and she doesn’t know how to do a lot of these things. Part of my role as her mama is to teach her these things, and to NOT get frustrated when she doesn’t do it right the first time or takes a long time to complete a task. When I let my impatience rule I’m only exhibiting a selfish attitude; very far from the attitude I ought to be exhibiting.

I’m amazed at the patience my husband displays with Ella (that I know I don’t always have!). He’s so good about letting her help him with special tasks – often things that he could get done more quickly by himself. Her eyes light up when he asks her to go help him get the trash together before the trash pickup comes or when he asks her to help him crush the cans for recycling (she picks up the ones he crushes and puts them away). I’ve also been trying to embrace giving Ella tasks such as putting clothes in the washing machine or taking the clean laundry to the appropriate bedroom. Yes, when Ella helps me out, these tasks take longer. BUT I need to train her to learn to do these things and much more, and I must have patience in the process!

I really do love watching her learn new things (I’m really amazed at what she picks up on!), and I don’t ever want to discourage her from learning. I need to encourage her independence without allowing my impatience to rule those situations.  I love Ella so much: watching her grow and learn new things are great blessings in my life!

“I already did it! I already said it!”

Lately Ella has been adamant that once she has done something she’s not going to do it again or once she’s said something she isn’t going to say it again. For example, we’ll ask Ella to repeat a word that she’s learning for the first time, and she doesn’t want to repeat it because she thinks she’s already said it correctly. The words “I already did it!” and “I already said it!” are commonplace around our house lately.

 

I’ll admit that her attitude has been a bit frustrating to me. I have to remind myself that she is only 2 1/2, and she has so much to learn. It occurred to me that one of the reasons she probably says those things so often to me is because I say them to her. When I tell her for the fifth time to put her shoes on (it is absolutely great that she can do this now, by the way!), I know that I tell her something along the lines of “I already told you to put your shoes on.” Or when she asks for the tenth time in a five minute span what I am doing, I know that I respond with, “I already told you what I am doing.”

I need to have patience with her. I’ve said it before, and I know that as my children get older, I’ll only say and think it more often, but raising children is hard work. I have to be patient, yet firm and steadfast. I have to let her know that I mean business when I tell her to do something, and that it is important for her to obey me, but I have to show her that with a loving and caring attitude. I have to remember that there are times she’ll need to be reminded to do things more than once. After all, don’t we all need to be reminded of things at times? I am humbled when I think of the many things that God reminds us of over and over again in His Word. I am so thankful that God has left us His Word to guide us as Psalm 119:105 states: “Your Word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path.”

The Paper Mama Photo Challenge: Resolutions

The Paper Mama's photo challenge this week is resolutions. There are lots of things I'm trying to improve in my life, but one area that I know I need to work on in regards to my children is to have more patience and to not be bothered by little things. For example, yesterday I was taking pictures of Ella, and I really wanted a shot with her in the middle of the bridge. Did she cooperate? No. In fact, she was scared at first and it is actually amazing I got the shot I did. I need to have patience with her as she is learning and growing! I can't be frustrated by the little things!

My photo last week was chosen as a favorite!

Temptation and Pushing Limits

I thought the word "no" was a big part of my everyday vocabulary with Ella when she wasn't even a year old yet,  but the number of times I have to say "no" these days doesn't even compare to that time. Ella is still constantly exploring and learning. But now, she's doing more than just exploring and learning-she's testing us. She is trying to push the limits. She's seeing how far we'll let her go. Take, for instance, just a few days ago when we left some boxes of cokes out within her reach (ok, technically not "Cokes" but in our world sodas are cokes).

First, she is carefully inspecting them from a distance.

She gets closer, and I tell her not to touch them.

She runs off for a bit.

But then the temptation is too much. I can even tell she knows she isn't supposed to be touching the boxes (that is why she is only using one finger . . .testing me to see if perhaps using just one finger would be OK).

I have to make sure that I don't let her get the best of me, and by that I mean, I need to be consistent, and not let her wear me down. If I tell her "no" there is a reason I've told her "no" (or at least there should be) and she needs to respect that I told her "no." Sure, touching the coke cans is little in the scheme of things, but she needs to understand that "no" means "no." After all, what if I'm telling her "no" because she is about to do something that will hurt her whether that be physically, emotionally, or spiritually? I firmly believe it is important for us to train her from the beginning, and my consistency with her is an important part of that training.

Patience as She Grows

At almost 18 months old, Ella is learning and doing so much. I'm amazed daily at the things she knows, and the things that she can do. I think it is so cute how she tries to change the channel to turn on "boos coos" (aka Blue's Clues). Or if I ask her to put something in the trash she promptly walks to the drawer where the trash can is located, opens it, places the trash in it, and closes the drawer.  Or, how she plays peek-a-boo, when we say "Where's Ella?" and she responds "There she is!"

With everything Ella is learning to do, I find myself easily getting frustrated at the things she can't do or doesn't understand yet. I get frustrated when she doesn't understand how to be quiet when I need her to be quiet. But, then again, a majority of the time I'm encouraging her to talk, so I'm sure it is hard for her to understand the difference. Or I get frustrated when she isn't patient when breakfast or dinner isn't ready right when she wants it. But, truly, she has no concept of time.

I really have to step back and remind myself that she is only 18 months old. She still sleeps in a crib and isn't potty trained. She still cries when she doesn't get her way and doesn't always remember the difference between a dog treat and her own snack. She may try to change the channel to "boos coos" but she still needs me to turn it on. I need patience to remember these things as she grows up. It is my duty and my husband's duty to teach her as she grows up because she is only a child, and she is our child - a most precious gift from above!

No . . . .No . . . No . . NO!

These days the word "no" seems to be the most frequent word in my vocabulary. Ella is exploring everything, which is wonderful and annoying at the same time. I love watching her learn, watching her experience things for the first time, and watching her interacting with the world around her. However, her inquiry has to be carefully monitored; after all, part of the reason she is so fun to watch is because she really doesn't know much at all about the world around her. Ella doesn't know about gravity, or electricity, or choking, or sharp edges. All she knows is that object over there sure does look interesting. As she's exploring, I'm constantly telling her "no" to help guide her exploration. Although she doesn't understand the concept of safety yet, I'm trying to teach her by guiding her away from dangerous things with my words. I'm trying to gain patience in this process. After the tenth time I've said "no" for her touching the same thing, I can feel my patience slipping away. I must remain strong!

It was a beautiful day today, so I was brave and let Ella crawl around in the backyard. She had so much fun playing in her new environment. My patience was certainly tested as she played. There were leaves, sticks (which amazingly resembled straws), rocks, shells, and all sorts of other things to "play" with (aka, put in her mouth). I'll let the sequence of photos below speak for themselves. If you'd like to see other shots from today, be sure to check out my Project 365 blog.