Parenting from Proverbs: Listening Carefully

Proverbs 18:13:

He who answers a matter before he hears it,
It is folly and shame to him.

While much of my parenting from Proverbs series has focused on things that I should teach my children, the focus of today’s passage points directly to me. I need to take heed to the wisdom of this passage. More often than I’d like to admit, whether it be with my husband or my kids or even someone else, I’m quick to answer or respond to a situation before I hear the entirety of the matter. I need to be a better listener. I need to be less focused on solving an issue or becoming frustrated at an issue, and first focused on what the actual matter is. In regards to parenting, no matter how tired I am, no matter if I am working on something else, no matter if I’m right in the middle of cooking dinner, I need to take the time to be focused on the things that my children are bringing to me. Now, I’m not at all advocating encouraging my children to interrupt, but they do need to know that I’m there for them when they need me, and that I’m going to listen to their situation completely. I need to be patient and thorough in my thinking and decision making and not rash or quick to jump to conclusions. I need to avoid making quick assumptions because I *think* I know what happened or what my child is going to say. I need to listen carefully first in order to handle each situation as wisely as possible.

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Parenting from Proverbs: The Love of Wisdom

Proverbs 8:32-36:

Now therefore, listen to me [wisdom], my children, For blessed are those who keep my ways.
Hear instruction and be wise, And do not disdain it.
Blessed is the man who listens to me, Watching daily at my gates, Waiting at the posts of my doors.
For whoever finds me finds life, And obtains favor from the Lord;
But he who sins against me wrongs his own soul; All those who hate me love death.

You cannot read through the book of Proverbs without seeing the emphasis placed on wisdom. In fact, although I only quoted a few verses above from Proverbs 8, the entire chapter is focused on wisdom. Previously I considered the need for me, as a parent, to seek wisdom and counsel in parenting. However, I need to not only seek wisdom, but teach my children to love and seek wisdom.

My children need to know the importance of seeking and loving wisdom. They need to know that wisdom is something they should strive towards daily as Proverbs 8:34 states: “Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.” They need to understand that they should be actively following after godly wisdom, and that godly wisdom is found in God’s Word. I need to encourage my children to be lovers of godly wisdom.

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Parenting from Proverbs: Seeking Counsel and Wisdom

I started a new personal Bible study today – studying through Proverbs. One type of application I’m specifically looking for is how the wisdom from this book pertains to parenting, and how I can apply it in my life to be a better Christian parent.

There are many ideas that could be considered from Proverbs 1, but I specifically considered Proverbs 1:5.

A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel.

Proverbs 1 is filled with information about wisdom, and how to gain wisdom in one’s life. Proverbs 1:5 states that a wise man will not only hear, but also increase learning as well as that a wise man will seek wise counsel. Parenting is a difficult task, and I know I can gain much by seeking wise counsel about parenting. Where can I go for wise counsel on parenting?

First, I need to look to God’s Holy Word and His example as our Father. Only a couple of verses down, Solomon writes in Proverbs 1:7: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” I must have the proper view and reverence for God. God is the perfect example of a Father for us, and through His Word He has given us “all things that pertain to life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3). This includes parenting.

Secondly, I can look to the instruction and counsel given to me by my parents. I am blessed with Christian parents, and I’m thankful to be raised in a Christian home and to be taught the wonderful gospel of Jesus Christ. Solomon writes in Proverbs 1:8-9: “My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck.”

Additionally, I can look to other Christians for guidance in parenting. I think about Titus 2, and the instructions given to Titus by Paul to “speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine” (Titus 2:1). Titus was to instruct the older women to teach the younger women: “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,  to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5). On the surface, it might appear that only one of the items in the list – to love their children – would involve instruction about parenting; however, instruction in all the areas mentioned would encourage better parenting. For example, I think part of my duty as a Christian mother is to exhibit how to love and be obedient to my husband, and without doing such things I would certainly be lacking as a parent.

The last section of Proverbs 1 warns about the danger in not heeding instruction and wisdom, and concludes with the blessing that can come if one does seek wisdom: “But whoever listens to me [wisdom]  will dwell safely, And will be secure without fear of evil” (Proverbs 1:33). As a Christian, I need to be seeking Godly wisdom in all my endeavors, including parenting.